I saw the above image on FB this morning. As expected there was,
of course, the requisite heated discussion about what it means from a feminists
point of view, and sadly, most of the women seemed to focus on how insulting
this image was towards larger women. From
a purely physical perspective mind you. There was a lot of talk about how both
women were beautiful…so there! Also
there was some talk about what being fat meant from an anthropological
stance. A couple of people went so far
as to discuss the concept that reaching for her feet meant the big girl was
trying to exercise and thereby reach the pinnacle of physical beauty. There was a lot of back and forth and admittedly,
there were a few well thought out articulate comments about how feminism and
equality are out of sync (and more on that later). But forget the sexualisation of the women. That didn’t even come into
consideration - not once did anyone address the idea that from a truly feminist
point of view, both of these images are unacceptable.
Let’s look at why …
On the left we have a moderately attractive (by popular
media standards) girl in cute lingerie, with some bangin’ curves. She is provocatively (but not glaringly so)
arranged upon a comfy looking bed. This image is bright and vibrant and looks
quite nice.
On the right we have a rather dangerously overweight
(from a health perspective) woman who is naked.
She is posing in a way that covers up parts of her anatomy on a bare, (possibly
cold), hard wooden floor. The image is dull and colourless and somewhat grainy.
Now let’s think about the words that come to mind when we
look at these images.
The image of the ‘curvy’ girl looks vibrant. Think how soft the bed looks, how smooth her skin looks and see how her
body language is open. She is sexy
and could be considered by some to be the ultimate in femininity because of that. From
a designers viewpoint this image is meant to appeal to the viewer on the most
sensual of levels.
The image of the larger girl is washed out. The lack of
colour makes the image seem somewhat depressing
and dull. Her body language is closed – she is covering up, almost as if she is trying to hide her
body - like she should be ashamed
somehow because she doesn’t meet the current accepted perception of physical
beauty. This image is designed to be
unappealing to the eye. It is meant to
make you reject it.
Now I’m no advertising exec but it seemed instantly clear
to me that this image is designed to do two things:
One: it is designed to tweak that part of female brains
that screams to us all that we must conform.
We must bust our asses to meet the standards of beauty that are set for
us by the mass media. If we do not, we
must feel bad about it, and ourselves.
By not conforming to the dictate that we must be thin to be beautiful,
and therefore loveable by men we are denying our right to have healthy self
esteem. WTF?
Two: this image is designed to spark controversy. In that regard, it achieved its goal. It was designed to make modern feminists (by
which I mean the non-thinking, blindly-following types) jump up and down and in
doing so ignore the underlying message that women are nothing more than sex
objects put on this planet for the sexual gratification of men.
Now I don’t know about you, but I was under the impression that this very issue
was the underlying reason for the feminist movement in the first place. Did I miss something?
So it achieved its goal.
There were a number of knee-jerk responses to the image. Here, please feel free to read some of the comments
that I found particularly interesting (please note F=Female poster, M=Male
poster. S=Me. All quotes are verbatim).
F – “Only a misogynist would think
that a feminist is "dumb". We're trying hard to lift men out of their
traditional roles also.”
– denial, not just a river in Egypt anymore.
Apparently
F – “It's misogynistic, indeed. And
ignorant.”
– well
thanks for that in depth analysis.
F – “There are dumb feminists? Don't
think so. “
– here’s
looking at you sweetheart. O.o
M – “Boys want girls, men want women.
Girls are skinny, women have a lot more variety."
–
Wow. Thanks for that. Cos you know, what boys/men want is right up there on my
list of priorities.
Missing the point entirely much?
Like I mentioned a little earlier,
there were also a goodly number of well thought out intelligent responses, which
really did give me hope for the future of our kind. Some of my favourites…
M – “This is just
evidence of privileged men thinking that women should define their self-worth
by whether men find them attractive.”
M – “Anthropologically: In times of scarcity (human
society before institutional agriculture), larger people are viewed (rightly)
as more successful and therefore more desirable.
In times of abundance, those who overindulge to the point that their health is
compromised (to any extent) are viewed (rightly) as less successful. From either angle, the desirable trait is
always Healthy.
That's
why we find beauty in visual symmetry, fitness, and ability. Any trait which compromises
any or all of those will reduce the individual's attractiveness to the
instinctive brain.”
M – “Feminists
want all women to be respected and treated like any other person. I respect
women, yet have, like any other man, my own idea of beauty. A feminist would
say that all women are beautiful in their own way. A dumb feminist would say that
all women have to be celebrated as beautiful. A dumb feminist would say that
for a man to find the larger woman ugly is misogynistic, when it is simply a
matter of choice. A smart feminist would say for a man to find the larger woman
ugly is his problem and he's missing out.”
And my
absolute favourite…
M
- “This doesn't characterize
feminists. It distinguishes dumb ones from smart ones by examining how the
feminist movement loses credibility when extremists propose standards which are
unrealistic.
If you
look at the Dove real beauty campaign, it fosters acceptance by presenting a
view of beauty that diverges from mainstream media definitions in a specific,
but not =strident= manner.
People
(even just persons) do not change by teleporting their views. It's not like a
financial negotiation where one starts high, the other low, and they meet in
the middle. Public opinion has to be cultured, nurtured, and guided, not
forced, shamed, and dictated to
This is a
legitimate complaint that speaks to a double standard whereby anything women
use to characterize men is okay - all is fair. But turnabout is not only no
longer fair play - it is outright forbidden. Ask yourself about the last time
you saw a man kick a woman in the genitals in a movie to comedic effect. When that
happens - you'll have equality. As long as special treatment is demanded, the
rift will remain
It is
because of extremists in the movement that a huge segment of society has dug in
its heels. You'd think the Equal Rights Amendment would be a no brainer, but
here we are 40 years later, when an interracial gay marriage is kinda cool
rather than a sign of the apocalypse - but still no ERA.
When it's
no longer cool for anyone to humiliate anyone, and for everyone to be permitted
to poke fun at everyone to the same extent - then we'll have the society that
encodes the ERA into its hardware.
The
journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Demanding immediate
teleportation of opinion is ridiculous - and this image ridicules that demand.
Whether it
is done in a tasteful manner or not is not the point - the point is minds are changed
by choice, not by demand”
Which was
followed up by this glaringly uninspired (and in my opinion – palm facingly
unintelligent) response…
F – “Could we not
have men on this thread telling is what they think is acceptable, please?
Anthropologically or otherwise, shut the hell up. I'm a cranky fat feminist
too. Both images are beautiful..”
Because mens opinions about feminism and what it
means in society are unimportant somehow?
I was prompted by this to say my own piece…
S – “I'm
a fat equalist...but not cranky. I like that there are men here discussing
their views. That men are even aware of some of the implications of images like
this is a sign of progress towards equality to me. As I see it, all are entitled
to an opinion. Discouraging 'discussion' is a form of 'gate keeping' which is
responsible for a vast majority of men still being disassociated from their
feelings - an issue many women complain about but which mostly women are
responsible for. Do we really want our men to go back to beating their chests
and dragging women around by the hair? Open discussion is the only way to move
forward.
It stands
to be said; this is just my opinion...I mean no offense. Peace out lovelies.”
S – “PS: in all
honesty, I think this image has achieved its purpose. I think it was designed
to spark controversy. The marked differences in the portrayal of the two
women...the 'more attractive' in colour (vibrant, happy, appealing) but the
'less attractive' in black and white (sad, dull, unappealing)? C'mon
peoples...use your noggins. It's supposed to make you all jump up and down and
it’s done exactly that. ♥”
Now, although
I’ve talked a bit about feminism in this post, I’d really like it to be known
that I’m not an out and out feminist.
Yes I’m all for the womens rights movement but in all honesty I consider
myself an ‘equalist’. I want equal
rights. For both genders, from both genders. As was stated in my favourite response to the
offending photo…
M – “…This
is a legitimate complaint that speaks to a double standard whereby anything
women use to characterize men is okay - all is fair. But turnabout is not only
no longer fair play - it is outright forbidden. Ask yourself about the last
time you saw a man kick a woman in the genitals in a movie to comedic effect.
When that happens - you'll have equality. As long as special treatment is
demanded, the rift will remain.
When it's
no longer cool for anyone to humiliate anyone, and for everyone to be permitted
to poke fun at everyone to the same extent - then we'll have the society that
encodes the ERA into its hardware...”
This really resonated with me and I agree
wholeheartedly. Why do women today
expect equality from men but refuse to give it back in kind? It’s as if the feminist movement has swung
too far into over-compensation. There IS
a double standard used by women to characterise men that we as women would
never stand for.
I too
would like to see a movie where a woman was kicked in the crotch for comedic effect. If it’s OK for men, why not for women? It does a lot more damage to a guy so why is
it portrayed as an acceptable thing for anyone to do? How often have you seen this done in a movie
by another man? I’m sure they’re out
there but I cannot recall a single occasion when while watching a film I saw
this act perpetrated by anyone other than a woman. Yes, admittedly in supposed self-defense. But still.
It makes you wonder how women can rightfully demand equal treatment but
neglect this glaring inequality.
I’m aware
that there will be plenty who maintain that it’s a womans only true defense
against an aggressive man. I only agree
to a point, there are other alternatives.
That said, it should be acceptable for either both genders, or neither.
So how do
we deal with the inequities? Many women
for years have been crying foul; claiming (mostly correctly) that women have
been repressed by men for hundreds of years.
But how many of those women have ever recognised their own participation
in the active oppression of men?
Think
about it. How many times have you heard
a woman, be her mother, aunt, grandmother, sister or even just babysitter tell
a male child that ‘only girls cry’? Why
do only girls cry? For generation upon
generation women have been raising their male children to repress their own
emotions from a young age. And then we
wonder why men are shut off from their emotions? Really?
When we have actively been teaching them that the only emotion it is
acceptable for them to express is anger?
Oh sure, there are guys out there who are learning to cry. But be honest…can you really say you’re
comfortable with that? That at some
level it doesn’t make you think that a man is weak if he cries? Why do we still, in 2012, believe that crying is a sign of weakness in men but a sign of strength in women? Doesn't that strike you as a bit of a double standard?
Men should be encouraged to emote. They have been living a sort of half life for centuries, cut off from feeling for so long that they don't know how to navigate the mine fields of feeling and relationships. And then on top of that, we women, who have taught him that its not OK for him to feel anything but anger, bitch about our emotionally crippled partners and moan about how he doesn't do any of the socio-emotional work in our relationship. Why? Because its too difficult to make the decision to teach our male children how to embrace their emotions and deal with the fall out the way we try to teach our female children? That my friends is the crux of the issue. We raise our children to blindly follow example. To behave automatically without questioning. And then we cry about inequality.
Sorry
ladies but you can’t have it both ways.
If we want equality, true equality, it has to start in raising our
children to think differently - to question everything. To not just accept behaviour because it’s how
it has always been done. Critical
thinking (really? google it) is not a new concept but it is definitely one that must be learned. Until we do
this, until we teach our children to re-examine all that has gone before us, we have no hope of ever ending the war between the sexes and even less hope of
realising true equality.
And again, this all comes down to opinion. This is my opinion and I'm more than happy to have dialogue about it. The usual warnings come with this...play nice or go home is what it boils down to. Adult discussion welcome, childish stamping of feet and name calling is not.
Peace out lovelies :oD
