Valentines Day Downer

Today is Valentines Day.  This 'special' day means a lot to so many people.  There's the undeniable commercial promise for retailers of course (and don't get me started on that one - lol).  But the really big draw card for the day is the supposed romantic element.  Some couples even look forward to the day with a fervor that approaches fanaticism which seems a little unhealthy and unrealistic to me but at least they can look forward to a few moments of excitement.  For me it is an unfortunate reminder of one of the worst mistakes I ever made.

Twelve years ago today I got married.  A week before I'd realised I didn't actually want to get married but we'd spent so much money and had so many people counting on the day that I couldn't back out of it like I wanted to.  Getting married on Valentines Day was my nod to the romance that is supposed to be involved in getting married.  A bit of a joke really considering romance is something I'm not terribly familiar with.  And sadly, every year on this day, I experience the same regret.  I try to not think about the 'event' but you cant just forget your wedding day (no matter how much of a farce it was).   Especially when Valentines day is such a big deal to most people.  Its a handy reminder :o/

Consequently Valentines Day is a bit of a non event for me every year.  My current partner and I try to make at least a minimal effort with by doing the card thing.   We keep telling ourselves that we're keeping the real effort for our anniversary which is in March but we both know its because the day just reminds me of the most colossal stupidity I've ever experienced. Its all a bit of a downer really.

While I'd like to wish everyone a happy V Day, I'm afraid my heart wouldn't be in it.  Sadly as I'm technically still married its my wedding anniversary.  Ugh.  

Maybe I should try to organise my divorce so it comes through on the same day...that might take some of the sting out. ;o)

Breathe...

I have been invited to participate at the Sydney Royal Easter Show by the lovely Charly from Ixchel in April this year.  There will be a team of people participating in some pretty special events (more info here) and I'm so excited to be a part of it.  

Of course, the SRES is a hugely prestigious affair with people coming from all over the world to participate and spectate.  Obviously I want to make the most of this once in a lifetime (for me) event.  It's a great opportunity to get my name and product out there so I have been rushing about madly trying to put together appropriate items to take with me. Sadly, I've been putting too much pressure on myself to get  things done 'liek nao' and consequently I'm not really getting anywhere.  On top of that, I've been so caught up in getting my business to start producing an income that things have become a bit panicked which of course means I'm achieving exactly nothing.

So I've decided that it would be better if I just relax.  Today I'm sitting back and breathing. There's no rush.  I have an income that I can survive on for now so there is plenty of time for the business to evolve naturally.  I definitely have lots of plans for the business but there is no reason they all have to come to fruition this instant. 

Of course now that I've given myself permission to stop stressing over things, I'm sure that the creative process (and progress) will begin to flow smoothly once again.  

As for the Easter show, I already have plenty of things to take with me so there's no need to panic about getting a heap of stuff made in the next few weeks. If I manage to come up with a few more things to showcase my creativity that would be awesome but if I don't, I'm not going to fret about it.

It feels SO good to stop stressing. :o)    

And it begins...

It has begun.  The Etsy Shop is LIVE (see the little etsy mini over on the right there? Awesome right?).  I've already had my first sale! OMG its all so exciting :oD  

Dont forget to zip by the FB page to grab the coupon code for your 20% store wide discount for this week.  If you're an Australian resident you can pay by direct deposit.  International buyers can pay into my paymate account using their credit or debit cards.  For internationals, an invoice will have to be sent before payment can be made.  Sorry for this small inconvenience folks but its my only option at this point.  But its all happening.  Grab yourself a nice cuppa, your favourite snaffling slippers and come check out my listings :oD

Thanks so much again for all your support.  I cannot tell you how much it means to me :oD

...and in addition

I would like to add that sharing this stuff with all of you, goes against every fibre of my being.  It's hard for me to tell the public in general this stuff.  It is hard for any person suffering depression or mental illness to tell the people closest to them this stuff.  This too is a part of the therapy thing  (seriously, my shrink told me I have to 'engage' more...I'm new at this, I may occasionally over compensate. lol).  But also, I know that all of you totally understand this :o)

Happy New Year Everyone!

Well, its 1st January 2012.  That kind of blows me away the teensiest bit.  I know so many of you can relate.  Where have all the years gone?  #momentofawe  This year, while not my best year ever has certainly been one of the biggest for me on so many levels.

I've had some pretty interesting health issues crop up.  And in the past, that would have rendered me fairly useless to the world at large.  But this year I've also made some staggering progress in terms of my self development.  

Not many people know that I've had a life long case of PTSD and depression.  For these reasons I cant work a 'normal' 9 to 5.  But, I'm a pretty darn private person though so that's not really a surprise.  I'm 'coming out' now because I have made so many amazing new friends this year.  And some of them also suffer from a mental illness.  Having a mental illness can end your life.  To survive every day is an achievement for some.  No one should treat this lightly or as if it was some kind of shameful disease.   Having a mental illness and/or depression is a very big deal.  I want to show my other friends, who struggle daily my support by sharing this part of myself with you. :oD

Happily, I have found an amazing psychologist.  In the last year she has helped me learn whole new coping strategies and has encouraged me to take more interest in myself.  This has been life changing for me.  So much so that I've decided to take back control of my life, for the first time ever.  This feels pretty damn amazing.

In the last four or five weeks I've started seeing an exercise physiologist.  To help me lose weight, regain my fitness and conquer some of my other health issues.  Diabetes being first on the list.  And I am determined to make this happen.  I am so focused on achieving these goals that my entire outlook has changed.  This is a good, good thing.

This new perspective has allowed me to finally accept what I'm supposed to be doing.  I have found my calling and she is named 'fibre hoar'.  I'm embracing her, and the sisterhood of fibre hoars out there in general. :oD 

And this also is in part to the amazing, supportive, generous of spirit people who have, happily, entered my life.  I had forgotten what it meant to count someone a true friend.  It feels very nice to be able to do this again.  So thank you.  Thank you all for your continued support, encouragement and friendship.  You have all saved me on levels that I cannot describe.

I wish you all peace, love and wonderful times for 2012 and beyond.  Happy New Year to you all. 

xoxo