February 14, 2012

Valentines Day Downer

Today is Valentines Day.  This 'special' day means a lot to so many people.  There's the undeniable commercial promise for retailers of course (and don't get me started on that one - lol).  But the really big draw card for the day is the supposed romantic element.  Some couples even look forward to the day with a fervor that approaches fanaticism which seems a little unhealthy and unrealistic to me but at least they can look forward to a few moments of excitement.  For me it is an unfortunate reminder of one of the worst mistakes I ever made.

Twelve years ago today I got married.  A week before I'd realised I didn't actually want to get married but we'd spent so much money and had so many people counting on the day that I couldn't back out of it like I wanted to.  Getting married on Valentines Day was my nod to the romance that is supposed to be involved in getting married.  A bit of a joke really considering romance is something I'm not terribly familiar with.  And sadly, every year on this day, I experience the same regret.  I try to not think about the 'event' but you cant just forget your wedding day (no matter how much of a farce it was).   Especially when Valentines day is such a big deal to most people.  Its a handy reminder :o/

Consequently Valentines Day is a bit of a non event for me every year.  My current partner and I try to make at least a minimal effort with by doing the card thing.   We keep telling ourselves that we're keeping the real effort for our anniversary which is in March but we both know its because the day just reminds me of the most colossal stupidity I've ever experienced. Its all a bit of a downer really.

While I'd like to wish everyone a happy V Day, I'm afraid my heart wouldn't be in it.  Sadly as I'm technically still married its my wedding anniversary.  Ugh.  

Maybe I should try to organise my divorce so it comes through on the same day...that might take some of the sting out. ;o)

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